DatingAgain's Blog

What You Need To Know If You’re Newly S

datingagain — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:21:14 +0000

What You Need To Know If You’re Newly Single

By CATHY KEEN

Sex for newly single women can put them at risk for disease if doctors think they are too old for intimate relationships, a new University of Florida study finds.

Nearly two-thirds of middle-aged women who had re-entered the dating scene after widowhood or divorce said they considered themselves at risk for contracting AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, but their physicians rarely discussed those issues with them, said Kathryn Grant, who did the research for her 2005 doctoral degree in anthropology.
http://ow.ly/1cO79

Eat, Pray, Love, Date & Remarry?

datingagain — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 16:49:04 +0000

OK, I have to admit it. I was pretty annoyed at the whole Eat, Pray, Love phenomenon.

For those of you who missed it, Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a book back in 2006 about chucking her fabulous life in New York—bored with husband and all—and traveling the world in search of herself. Yes, yes, I would love to spend months in Italy eating my way through their amazing culture, not to mention the pastas and wine. I would be fascinated by the spiritual and intellectual practices of meditating for weeks at a time at an Indian ashram; perhaps I’d learn something amazing. And I know I would thrill at more than a vacation’s worth of days in such a laid-back place as Bali, even if I didn’t find the next love of my life. But the experience and her writing about it felt totally self-indulgent in a way that seemed, at the time, elitist, something only a well-heeled modernist could accomplish. (Of course, it could just mean that I would never have the guts to head out of my comfort zone, but that’s another column.)

But I do think I want to read her latest, a more thoughtful, if still personal, take on how she came to a second marriage. This is remarkable only because she became the patron saint for the strong single divorcee (that word isn’t used much anymore, but her independent, freedom-seeking spirit did define her), and after stating blatantly that she would never enter the state again, here she is, another married lady.

Her book, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, explores not only her reasons for taking the leap (more practical than romantic, in some ways), but also the diverse cultural approaches to the whole notion of marriage around the globe. Americans, it seems, have this fetish about marriage in ways that others do not, which is perhaps why we fail at it so often. She also talks about how much more she brings to this union at this stage of life that she couldn’t possibly have contributed to her first, as a rather silly, naive twenty-something. (Hear her interview with Diane Rehm on NPR for more food for thought.)

She gives us lots to think about…I’ll write more once I read it!

Found this over at remarriagemag.com

Should You (or shouldn’t you) Get Plastic Surgery?

datingagain — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:21:51 +0000

5 Questions to Ask Before Plastic Surgery

By KATHRYN KOHL

Considering plastic surgery after your divorce? You’re not alone. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 11 million people had plastic surgery in 2006 alone. For many patients, a divorce or other dramatic life change was a motivating factor in their decisions to receive treatment. More than 40 percent of women in a national survey conducted by the National Women’s Health Resource Center sought to improve their physical appearance after a divorce or other significant life transition.

According to Dr. Arthur W. Perry, author of “Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery,” potential patients typically fall into one of two categories. “There are people who have always been unsatisfied with their appearance — these people have rhinoplasties (nasal surgery) for large noses, chin implants for small chins, and ear setbacks for protruding ears,” he says. “And then there are those people who were happy with their appearance when they were young but are disturbed by the changes of aging. These people might have facelifts or eyelid lifts, and also abdominoplasties (tummy tucks) and breast lifts.”

Keep reading on d360

5 Things You Need To Know Before Dating Again

datingagain — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:15:39 +0000

By JODI SEIDLER So you find yourself starting to date again, even if you’ve sworn off the opposite sex one more time. You tell yourself all the “This time…I will [fill in the blanks].” But when loneliness kicks in, combined with the need to share one’s life – we opt to try one more time to give romance another try. 1. Have a clear picture of what you want and don’t want in a relationship, and keep that picture in mind. Don’t settle. Sometimes it helps to make a list (not necessarily a three page list, perhaps bullet points will do). A list helps us become clearer about what we want, need and also what our deal breakers might be. No need to be overly critical – remember that no one is perfect, especially in relationships!

Keep reading on d360

3 Ways To Know If He’s A Keeper

datingagain — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:44:24 +0000

Tip Number One May Make Your Date Mad

By MARK GOULSTON

Have you been unlucky in love? Had more than your share of Mr. or Ms. Wrongs? How do you tell a good catch from a bad one?

Good catches.
They have a positive attitude and are not blamers when something goes wrong. They get upset when they’re disappointed or hurt, but don’t dwell on their upset; they cut their losses and move on. They are passionate and have strong opinions, but stop short of being opinionated.

Read the other tips on finding a good date here

How Humor Can Help (or hurt) Your Relationship

datingagain — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:15:56 +0000

Several weeks ago, a very nice couple came to see me for some marriage counseling. They are both attractive and they seem to love each other very much. They have two children and they have been married for about twenty-eight years.

Keep reading here

Time To Move On? Here’s How

datingagain — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:08:30 +0000

After The Break Up, Here’s How To Move On

By BRENDA DELLA CASA

Breaking up with someone you were once sure you would spend the rest of your life with ranks as one of the most heart-wrenching and stressful things any of us will do and when you add legal woes and fees, things can get downright ugly. We know that going through a divorce is difficult but we rarely talk about what happens once the property is distributed, the lawyers are paid and the custody terms have been decided. Moving on from divorce is not something that just “happens” when the state agrees to it. Here are a few ways to soar now that you’re flying solo.

Re-Define Yourself: When we are in a relationship (even one that is breaking down) it can be tempting, and even comfortable, to define ourselves by the roles we are playing in the relationship. A married man with a wife and two kids becomes a divorced father of two. A wife becomes a divorced 33 year-old and so forth. While we are all juggling different roles and titles, the fact is that our individuality is not based on what we endure, where we work or even the role we play in the lives of those we love. Take some time to really sit and think about who you are, what you have learned and what you want at this point in your life. You may not be where you would like to be just yet but knowing who you truly are is the first step to getting there.

Keep Reading Here

Kids Don’t Like New Partner?

datingagain — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:38:33 +0000

Parenting: Advice to Consider When Your Kids Don’t Like the New Love in Your Life

By KRYSTLE RUSSIN

8 Tips for Kids whose Parents are Remarrying
13 Tips for Parents who are Remarrying

The biggest test when remarrying is how your fiancee will fit into your family. What happens when your children are unwilling to accept your new love?

“It is not always a matter of if the child likes or dislikes the new partner. Often it is the feelings that come along with this change that the children respond to,” said Emily Ryan Smith, a social worker in Mobile, Ala.

“Children will have different emotional responses to family change based on the child’s age, developmental stage and the presence of other life changes,” she said. “Children often feel anxiety due to the uncertainty of the future. They may ask themselves, ‘Where will we live? Will I have to share my room? Will I have to call him Dad? Where do I fit into this family?’”

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9 Tips for step parents

datingagain — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:00:29 +0000

She’s the dreaded “next.” She’s the woman who lives in your ex’s house, sleeps in his bed and has your kids every other weekend. And the U. S. Census Bureau says there are 1,300 of her created every day. When living-together families are included in the definition of the stepfamily, the National Survey of Families and Households estimates that 50 percent of all women are likely to live in a stepfamily relationship.

Because of the breakup of their biological families and their parents’ desire for a second chance at love, 50 percent of the 60 million children under the age of 13 are currently living with one biological parent and that parent’s current partner. Stepfamilies are not doing so well. Two out of three will fail, largely due to conflicts over children. A Boston University study reported that more than 75 percent of the career women who had married men with children said that if they had do it again they would not marry a man with children.

Why You Shoudn’t Date Co-Workers

datingagain — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:09:10 +0000

Having been through a divorce, you might be feeling lonely and vulnerable. You might even find yourself on the rebound and aggressively looking for new romantic relationships. While it’s important to develop friendships at work, and perhaps use these work-related friends as part of your emotional support system outside of the workplace, your place of employment should never be where you look for dating prospects.

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